Dear Self,

I have been meaning to sit down and have a long talk with you. This has not been a good month for us and I have been rather harsh with you upon occasion. Firstly, let me apologize for calling you names. It was uncharitable of me and I regret being such a nasty cow. (oops, did it again). After all they do call them "accidents" for a reason. My rather unrealistic expectations of you have always been one of my greatest failings. Although I fear this will not change over night I promise to make a concentrated effort to be a little more understanding. You are talented and I have dismissed your abilities for too long. All the wishing in the world will not take back the mistakes you/we/I have done. We are who we are because of them and it is about time I let you bury the remains and stop digging them up. We deserve better treatment than we have had. Many of your actions were situation driven and in retrospect we could have been a little more discerning. However, heart has always ruled head with us and I seem to be the one crying about the past while you determinedly have gone on and forged a new life for us. It is truly time to consign the baggage to Air Canada they are good at loosing same.

Thank you Colin for bringing me up short. You were absolutely right and I had to tell Self she is a person I respect and I would not be here with out her.

Monday Ramblings

All cyber hugs appreciated. I am still beating myself up over being so stupid. My hand is sporting a smashing bruise on the back and is a little weak. Good news ... I can knit ... so what could be the matter? I will go to the clinic after work. I couldn't get into the Dr on Friday as she was double booked. The car rental place was being an ass because I don't use credit cards and so the clinic was closed by the time I got there. Saturday started with trips to 2 more rental outlets after I had a melt down with the insurance company on Friday evening. Achieving a rental car at last I picked up Sandy and Corinne and went to the Knitter's Frolic..only high point of the month..and Sunday I laid around all day and had a pity party of 1. Today I am at work and it is one side of insane.


I am that distracted I forgot to wear earrings this morning. Those who know me will be greatly alarmed by this oversight as I would sooner be seen with out my knickers than expose my ear lobes. (When I win the lottery I want some of these...)

Sigh, I have a head ache and I wanna go home. Does anyone have any cheese I can serve with this whine. Every time I look out the window and see the rental car I want to gag.
On the way home Sat from, as I mentioned, a totally outstanding day, our heads giddy with the fumes of wool and fibre, we talked Sandy into starting a blog. I offered to set it up and promised to go easy on the girly theme. I think I did well and I encourage you to stop by and be amused. Once she gets into her "groove" her posts promise to be very entertaining. The Geezer and the Vintage Bitch are two of my most favourite people.

Wrong place/wrong time..that's me

So there I was driving down this street with my left hand flasher on. I slowed down at the corner because there was another driver at the intersection, at the cross street. Quick glance in my rear view mirror and I began to make my left turn. WHAT THE HELL. A ginormous gold SUV appears out of nowhere on my left and tires screaming, smell of rubber and whup he hits me. Sideswiped. He takes off down the street. I continue to chug around the corner. Shaking from head to foot. I can't get my drivers door open. I climbed out of the bucket seat and over the console to get out the passenger door. A man stopped and asked if I was OK. My left hand was burning sore, I don't know what I did to it. I reversed the process to climb back in when buddy in the SUV came back. Out I get again. His behemoth is fine. Nothing but a black plastic mark from my side mirror. I am the one with the broken light, hub cap and dinged side panel. I am so shook up I forget to get his info. After all he says he will meet me at the Police Collision Reporting Centre. He never showed up. More fool me. I am waiting to hear from the insurance adjuster, my insurance wants me to see a Dr. I am waiting for them to call back. My hand hurts. I was in an area of the city that I am not familiar with. Got stuck turning left to avoid traffic. Turns out I was on a one way street. "cringe" at least I was going the right way. My head aches from the stress.

"Left turn" wouldn't matter where I was, I will be held at fault. Not happy today in the extreme.

Have put kettle on for tea. Tea fixes everything...well almost

edit: I just found out that my insurance rating went from a 9 star to a 5 star and my rates next year will be at least doubled maybe more. I feel sick. Thirty Years with a clean driving record doesn't mean a thing. I am just lucky they didn't cancel me! I also heard that the other driver went and reported in.

New look for spring

I used to re arrange furniture every spring. Now, I have enough energy to rearrange the blog..lol
New header....Yes I did get carried away and will most likely change it from time to time. Starting in the upper right hand corner: Books I love to read. Big books where I can get lost for days in another world..and book marks... fringes, beady, anything to fiddle while I read. To the left: My favourite depiction of the "Green Man" A wonderful icon of nature... continuing left...Gardenias, my all time favourite flower, so expensive I substitute white carnations.. Below that my beloved Welsh dragon, knitting of course, Upper left: Iridescence anything . Nature in it's infinite beauty...Love the blue...Below that my present knitting project of magnitude proportions "The Welsh Tea Cloth"...I am up to row 101 of 168 and presently have 762 stitches in a round...whew. Below the tea cloth...Beautiful dyed roving from whence commeth beautiful knitting yarn...Rockwood My place of tranquility and peace.... Once upon a time the only place I felt at peace with myself....Oh Canada! My home and native land! Lastly my knitted BLACK lace. I am very happy with this project.
So there you go a few of the things that are part of what makes me...ME.

Last years concord grapes..

...which by the way kept the birds and the bunnies happy. How some ever we didn't get one speck of jam. The vines fell down over the winter so today in between my knitting and running to Canadian Tire for propane...Slabs of cow on the BBQ for dindin tonight!!....I started hacking and slashing.
I am recycling the vines into a wreath. Looks pretty large here but hang in there. More pictures later of the finished item. The neighbour on the other side of the fence...(Grrrrr) has bird feeders.Now I love the birds, the seeds and the poop are another matter. Especially on my lawn chair. I have an idea.....

heheheh..more evil thoughts to follow.

I have lost my touch.

Once upon a time I used to cook meals for a family of 6, I baked, pies, cookies, cakes all the fattening stuff, I made my children's clothes, my own and sewed for other people..wedding parties even!

I have lost my touch. I struggle to think of something to cook for two that is half ways interesting, I have two buttons dangling precariously from my spring cape ( since last spring..geeze). I made hot cross buns on the weekend that should be given to the fishermen in Port Stanley for sinkers!

~omg~

What if I loose the knitting portion of my brain... ? It doesn't bear thinking.

For years my theory has been that the human brain..at least mine...is formatted for only SO much information. In order to download more information something has to be deleted. I highlighted "failures" & "disappointments" to be sent to the brains recycling. But no, I lost "meal ideas", "baking" and "mending skills." A trifecta!

~crap~

Ticks me off.

Ladies...what are you thinking????

This week I am sitting in the mall at a display and schmoozing with the general public.

During the quiet times I have an opportunity to observe the following:

Ladies for the love of everything don't you have a mirror? Yes, I know we live in casual times but pleeze take note of the following:

1. Large white T shirts and black tights do not make you look thinner! White tights and a black tee, that is even more ghastly.

2. Crocks look silly on older women.

3. Bare legs , sandals and a winter coat...now that was funny

4. speaking of sandals....Get a pedicure...shudder, heels like that belong in a barnyard.

5. If you need a size 18, wear a size 18...Aren't you uncomfortable walking around bulging all over the place like that? You have to be hurting.

There is an old saying, to paraphrase Robbie Burns, "to have the ability to see ourselves as other see us."

I am going to be chastised for having the temerity to say the above, accuse me of being critical if you will but that's what I saw.

The next thing really disturbs me.

This little girl has gone missing from Woodstock Ontario. Tori, 8 yrs old, Has anyone seen this child??
It is every mother's nightmare. It is on the news all the time. There I sit in the mall as these woman walk by pushing empty strollers. The little ones are wandering after them 20 feet plus behind them. They never turned around to see if the toddlers were following!! I watched them. It made me sick with fear. On they went busy chatting right past the entrance hall. Anyone could have scooped up a little one and been out the door. They wouldn't have even known.

What were they thinking??

Shaking my head. I guess I am getting old.

RuPaul's at my house

Totally outrageous! Whilst laying around in a semi haze on Monday and channel hopping I came upon RuPaul's Drag Race.
There otta be a law when a man can look better as a woman than a woman can look as a woman. Go parse that sentence...lol

The first time I saw a female impersonator was in Bermuda in 1969 I was on my honeymoon and we had gone to this nightclub called the "Junkanoo." The entertainment was fabulous and I was not expecting the "reveal" at the end. You could have blown me away when it turned out the "chanteuse" was man.

Back to Ru Paul.... Where oh where do you get a complexion like that at 48 yrs old? I feel like an old shoe.

The gowns were over the top. All in all I thoroughly enjoyed the show. It was campy and yet oddly fascinating. Now I am going to have to watch it next week to see who wins. I already have my favourite.

Yup, Same person. Hard to believe. I know.

Meet RuPaul, my beta

O.K. who knew??

I am either stupid or naive. After work I popped into the mall. The Royal Bank was open. Wide welcoming entrance, big shiny signs. I stand in line. "How can I help you?" asks smiley face. "I would like an international money order in Pounds Sterling for (and I named the small amount)." "Certainly," she says, all smiles and happiness radiating from her face. "Do you have your bank card?" she asks. "No," says I. "I have cash."
Crash. No smile. "Are you a customer of this bank?" she asks, a little waspishly. "No." I said, a little hesitantly, wondering what I have done. "I would just like to buy a money order." "Well, I have never been asked that before." she says, "I will have to check." She confides with another employee at the back and the two woman peer at me like I just waved a sharp object at them instead of some twenty dollar bills. She comes back says sternly, "Well I can try. You certainly can't buy a US money order without an account and I don't know if this will work. Oh, and there will be a charge of $15.00 for non customers." (By the way great customer skills there toots)
Those of you who know me can guess what I was thinking. (Lady, I got it in the bum yesterday and once is enough)

"Excuse me," I say loud enough so everyone in the line can hear," I must have missed the sign outside that said "If you don't have a bank card don't come in." I thought this was a chartered bank and all I wanted to buy was a money order." and I stood there smiling at her. She stared at me with her mouth open. "I am not paying $15 for a money order." I said, "and further more I won't be opening an account after all." ( I had no intention anyway)
I went to the post office and got a money order in Pounds Sterling and paid a fee of $5.50.

What happened to the banks? Holy cow. You'd think I was trying to money launder. You couldn't launder a thong on what I was spending. I have learned my lesson. The world has become an unfriendly place. Karma honey..... don't call me when your air conditioning goes "toes up" this summer I have your name..hehehehe

Never trust rectal flatus.

What a day. We arrived at our appointed time and I was whisked into the Endoscopy Suite. At the first opportunity I informed the nurse of my trepidation. She was sympathetic. All was going well until she spoke the words "conscious sedation." Say what? Oh no, the deal is I am going to be out/zonked/oblivious.
"That's not the way it works," she says with a trilling little laugh. Remember, when I mentioned that I was on my last nerve?

I had a melt down. She patted my hand and said, "We won't talk about it any more."

Nurse #2 comes along, takes one look at my tears and says I am going to stay with you. More tears. I didn't think I had anymore water left in me.

The two of us plus bed roll off down the hall to meet the surgeon. "What is this?" he asks when he catches sight of my distraught face. We have a little heart to heart and he asks what he can do to help. Easy. "Knock me out." I practically yelled. OK he says. 100cc's of something and about 3cc's of something else. I felt fuzzy. At one point I experienced some cramping but it went away or I did. I was oblivious to everything. Woke up in recovery. Embarrassed by my tears now, everyone was very kind. Good bill of health, no problems. "There," says perky nurse, "You are good for 10 years." Perk this honey. I am not coming back.

What they neglect tell you!

The bowel is filled with air during the procedure. "It is good clean air and don't worry about it," says nurse #3. Just let it go. Yeah right. Remember the poison I took at 4 am? Need I say more than do Not Trust Rectal Flatus. Carl thought maybe ingesting corn starch might help. Had to laugh. After being up with me half the night he has gone to work and won't be home until some god foresaken hour. He is such a good man I cut him some slack over the cornstartch comment.

(edit for humour)

You know it's spring when...

I have flowers on my toes!
The Bunny is Back!

I looked out the bedroom window last evening and saw this bunny sitting by the shrub. Now I think this is where they are all winter. When the snow is on the ground I have seen bunny trails leading back to this cedar. Usually there is a whole family. I will keep watching.

Looks like it will be a cold Palm Sunday. Carl has gone to drive someone to the airport and I am not going anywhere.......except the loo.

Sigh..today I am prepping for a nasty test for tomorrow.

I have to have "the dreaded colonoscopy" tomorrow. I have never been so nervous of anything in my life. This is all because I had a rotten appendix 6 months ago and the surgeon feels that it is a wise course of action. My rational mind accepts the reason my emotional mind is running around in a blind panic. Don't you just love the warnings they give you? I was especially impressed with the "death may occur" one. Geeze thanks heaps. How do they put that one in the paper?

Mrs. Whatzizts expired with a hose up her bum? Charming. I made myself watch the procedure on YouTube. I figure if Katie Couric can do it so can I. She sounded as nervous as I am now. By noon tomorrow this whole thing will be over and I will be home having a nap.

So.. because I am being so brave I rewarded myself with a pedicure after work on Friday. Then yesterday I ordered the Queen Ring Shawl pattern from Heirloom Knitting. The picture is posted on the knitting blog. I am going to be shopping for the yarn at the Frolic. The budget is shot with the car repairs anyway so I am taking some money out of my "last resort savings" to finance this. I have to be nice to myself right now. Oh, and wait till I tell you this. Talk about adding insult to injury, the prep powder cost me $30.00!! I told Corinne ( the family wine expert) I could have achieved the same result with 3 bottles of cheap plonk and felt better about it. So today is fluids only, jello, broth, water and peppermint tea. Bloody wonderful. I am starving already. I wonder if rye and ginger counts as liquid? I have a nice bottle of South African white wine chilling...lol ..Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and you get a snotty nose.

April Showers brings Knitter's Frolic

Thank heavens for April. It puts us that much closer to "sitting outside after work" weather. I can barely wait. I have fresh daffodils on my desk!


If you are anywhere near Toronto Ontario you must schedule April 25-26 on your calendar.

The Downtown Knit Collective sponsors the Knitter's Frolic at the Japanese Cultural Centre in Toronto. It is the "must go to" event of spring. It is knitter orientated. If it isn't there...it is not to be had! Knitters heaven, believe me. This year I may go for a drool. Shopping will be out of the question. I will be stash diving for at least two months while I pay for the aforementioned car repairs.KW Knitter's Guild Knitter's Fair in Kitchener every Sept are the only two worth while at least for me. I missed the Knitter's Fair in Sept 08 due to my emergency date with the surgeon so I am majorly overdue for a yarn fix. Corinne wants to go too. Anyone else?